![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fbucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2624c5f3-ee60-4019-bac6-8ceb346ce93e_3787x2130.jpeg)
You might say I’m a collector of collections. In recent years I’ve found myself with a small stack of vintage pulp paperbacks, mostly science fiction, picked up at yard sales, free piles, and discounted bins outside bookstores. I’m drawn to them for their wild covers, absurd plot lines, and fantastical titles. But mostly, I like that they transport me to another time altogether.
This week’s exercise is a twist on a classic. I’ll share the first page of one of these paperbacks, and you get to design the cover and name the book.
Ready?
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fbucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F73dfc40d-4a22-4b85-9384-00ebdf7adfbe_4032x3024.jpeg)
Last week
We wrote reviews of products. Take a look at what we came up with.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fbucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9d741863-49b6-4b88-a6be-7d1783067788_1074x1218.png)
Haunted Hill Farm Haunted Hill Farm 20-ft Creepy Clown Halloween Blow Up Inflatable $699.99
4 stars
We never liked our neighbors anyway
This year we went big and threw down the seven hundred and twenty dollars for the Haunted Hill Farm 20-ft Creepy Clown Halloween Blow Up Inflatable. And then, all hell broke loose. Neighborhood dogs forced their owners to cross the street when they rounded the corner and saw our house. The mailman made a snide comment, our gardeners refused to work in the front yard, and Phil, our neighbor to the left, went ballistic. He says it’s blocking all the sun to his precious front yard. Big whoop Phil! It’s autumn now, everyone knows all plants die in autumn. Your plants were probably already like that. I don’t know, I’m not a mindreader or a looky-loo. And then, I got a letter from the homeowner’s association telling me I’m violating some code and they’re threatening to fine me. As if! This is a free country and if I want to have a creepy clown in my front yard I will! The real questions is why didn’t Jason at Lowe’s tell me this thing might cause such pandemonium. It’s his fault if you ask me. Would buy again, please make a 30-ft version.
2 Stars
Oops! It’s huge!
Jason was so helpful loading this into my van. He even needed to ask another employee for help. I thought he looked strong but I don’t know Jason all that well. It was funny, he kept asking me if I knew how big it was when fully inflated. I didn’t! I told him I did, but really I didn’t. Well let me tell you! It’s way too big! So big that my Pomeranian Dutchess won’t leave the house, but she needs to! She has to go potty somewhere and it isn’t going to be in my sitting room, let me tell you. I don’t know what to do. I really fudged up Jason. Can you come over and pick it up? I can’t leave Dutchess alone. Please Jason? Jason? Hello? Oh boy.
Two weeks ago
We drew our autobiography in the form of a sandwich. Yum?
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fbucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8ba4bea1-e9e3-478b-8de0-75cd592e6e0b_2927x3903.jpeg)
Till next week!